


from eden

by orphan_account



Category: supermega
Genre: Catholic School, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Religious Guilt, i guess, suicide attempt though no one dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23742781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: ' Babe, there's something tragic about you,Something so magic about you,Don't you agree?Babe, there's something lonesome about you,Something so wholesome about you,Get closer to me. '
Relationships: Ryan Magee/Matt Watson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	from eden

When Matt woke up that next morning, he was hit with the overwhelming smell of booze and cigarette smoke. He reluctantly opened his eyes to the sight of his face laying in the older male's raven-colored hair. His eyes went wide as he immediately sat up in the bed, regrettably waking up Ryan from his sudden movements. He muttered a 'crap' under his breath as Ryan stirred awake.

"Matt..? fuck, why are you up this early?" 

Matt looked over at the alarm clock— it was 2 in the afternoon. "Uh... Ryan, it's 2 pm."

"Early for me.." Ryan mumbled as he got out of bed and redressed himself in the clothes he took off that night, Matt only watched, a blush forming across his cheeks. He's seen plenty of guys without shirts and pants on due to gym class, but why was it so different with Ryan?

Ryan yawned then walked out of the bedroom, Matt scrambled out from under the bedsheets and followed the older male since he wasn't familiar with the new surrounding. The two walked into the kitchen where they were greeted by Ryan's friend, who was sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal. 

Ryan sat beside the boy and Matt sat a little further between the two, Ryan and his friend talked for a while before another older male walked into the kitchen in only his underwear. He only looked over at Ryan and his friend.

"Carson? who told you you could have friends over." The older male huffed as he walked over to a jar and grabbed a breakfast bar, unwrapping it and taking a bite out of it.

"Mom did, Harry, Jesus, you already know Ryan," 

"I'm aware of Ryan, I'm talking about _this_ kid." The older male nudged his head towards Matt.

"U-Uh," The three males all turned their heads towards Matt, which caused Matt's face to head up in embarrassment. "M-my name is Matthew.." He murmured

"Well, nice to meet you, Matthew. I'm Harrison, I'm assuming you're Ryan's friend and not close with my obnoxious baby brother?"

Ryan's friend only shot Harrison a glare, which made the older sibling laugh. Matt shook his head and Harrison only shrugged.

After Matt and Ryan ate breakfast, Harrison dropped the two teens off at their homes. Matt went upstairs and shut himself in his room, staring up at his stomach. Memories of what happened were fuzzy from the alcohol.. god the alcohol.

Matt sinned, he was filthy, his parent's would definitely disown him if they found out what he did last night, but he couldn't lie, that was a sin also.

He felt sick.

Matt quickly scrambled out of bed, almost tripping over his feet as he rushed to the bathroom, shoving his head inside the toilet bowl and puking away all his anxiety.

When he was finished he cleaned his face up and took a shower. Thought's of Ryan plagued his mind, especially the kiss, he felt so sick. He wasn't gay, definitely not gay.

At dinner, Matt was silent until he lifted his head up from his plate to stare at his mom. "Mom?"

"Yes, honey?" She smiled softly at him, god she wouldn't be smiling if she knew all the horrid things that her son has been doing.

"H-How did you realize you were in love with dad?" 

"Well, whenever I was around your father, I was always anxious, like butterflies in my stomach."

He tuned the rest of the conversation out, only vaguely humming when his mother's lips stopped moving. Matt excused himself from the dinner table and rushed upstairs into his room. He grabbed his phone to listen to music to calm himself down but stopped and stared at the screen when he noticed a text message from Ryan.

He unlocked his phone and clicked on the text message. 

R: That party was fun wasn't it? :P

Matt sighed as he began to type at the letters on the touch screen,

M: I guess so, but... Do you remember anything that happened, like at all?

R: Not really, do you?

M: Well, I remember that we kissed and that suddenly I woke up with my face in your hair

R: Wow, I can't believe i got some sex ;)

M: You're so gross!!!! 

Matt scrunched up his face.

M: Plus, my butt isn't sore, there's no way we could've done that.

R: Guess you're right, lol.

Next day at school, Matt and Ryan sat out in the field, watching other students roam by talking with their friends. Matt laid his hands out on the grass, staring off into space. He snapped out of his trance when he felt something on top of his hand, he looked down to see Ryan's hand on top of his own.

He blushed then looked up at Ryan who was distracted by the kids walking around as well.

Matt quickly turned his head back towards the field, hoping that this was all just an accident and that Ryan would move his hand away soon.

But he didn't. 

"Hey Matt?" The older one of the two turned his head towards Matt.

"Hmm?" When Matt turned his head to face Ryan, Ryan placed his hand on the other's cheek and kissed him, it was a lot softer than their previous kisses but still held the same amount of affection.

The two closed their eyes as they continued to kiss before Matt pulled away, face as red as a tomato. Ryan smiled but that soon turned into a frown as Matt furrowed his brows at the older male.

"W-What the heck was that, Ry?!"

"What are you talking about dude?"

"Y-You.. you kissed me! and i _liked_ it!" Matt fidgeted with his hands as Ryan stared at him in confusion. "Yeah..? you're supposed to like being kissed, dude."

"But not by another guy!"

"Matt, is this all over me not being some chick?"

"Yeah! you're trying t-t-to corrupt me!" Matt frowned. 

"What the hell are you talking about, Matthew?" Ryan rolled his eyes. 

Matt got up from the grass, staring down at Ryan. "I'm not gay, stop trying to turn me into a sinner, like you!"

"Whatever, Matt." Ryan stood up from the grass and shoved Matt as he walked away. Matt's facial expressions soften, he tried to follow after Ryan but soon the older male was gone from his sight.

A few days went by with Ryan not coming to class, whenever Matt tried to text him all the messages were left on read, until Ryan finally blocked his number one day.

Matt sighed, kicking pebbles as he was walking home from school, until he heard a voice calling out his name. He lifted his head and quickly turned around, hoping to see Ryan again but being met with his friend, Carson.

"Fuck you, Matt Watson." The younger boy shoved Matt, causing Matt to lose his balance and almost fall on the sidewalk.

"What's your problem d-dude?"

"What's _my_ problem? What's _yours_ " Carson glared at him.

"What are you talking about?" Matt raised his eyebrow in confusion. 

"Ryan's obviously in love with you and you keep shoving him away, what is your problem."

"I am not gay, Carson."

"You made out with him at my party, dumbass, you're not as straight as you think you are."

'he's right' Matt thought but quickly shook his head as he turned to walk away, "I don't have time for this." He began to walk but got pulled back by Carson.

"He's tried _killing_ himself over you, can't you see how much you mean to him you dick!" Carson yelled out, Matt only turned back around to face the younger male, tears stinging the corner of Carson's eyes. Matt frowned, looking down at Carson who looked like he was holding back tears.

"He tried... to kill himself..?" Matt asked softly.

"So n-now you care huh?" Carson hiccuped as he wiped away tears from his eyes.

"Im s-" Carson cut off Matt immediately.

"You're not sorry, Ryan's my only friend around here and if you make me lose him because you don't want to admit you like boys because your stupid religion then just stay away from him for good, he was okay before he met you and he'll be okay without you."

Matt opened his mouth to speak but closed it before he could say anything, Carson huffed and turned the opposite way, walking away.

Matt only stood on the sidewalk by himself, watching Carson disappear into the distance. 

"I screwed up bad.." He mumbled to himself.

A few more days passed without Ryan coming to school, Carson's conversation with Matt kept replaying in his head. Carson was right, Matt definitely isn't straight, but he didn't want to believe it, he was supposed to be his mother's good christian boy. But he was a flithy sinner.

A filthy sinner in love with Ryan. 

After school he rushed to Ryan's house, but his mother told him that Ryan wasn't home. Matt sighed and walked away, stopping at the park to clear his mind. He saw Ryan and Carson together, Ryan holding the younger one's hand while Carson only stood taking pictures of some random objects. 

'Are they dating now..?" The thought sent a wave of jealousy through Matt. He walked over to the two and stopped, both boys turning around to face him.

"Ry do you want me to deal with him?" Carson looked over at Ryan, then quickly glared at Matt.

"Might as well hear what he has to say, Carson.." Ryan sighed. "What is it, Matt?"

"Can I talk to you.. Alone."

Ryan whispered something into Carson's ear and the younger boy only nodded, walking away from the two. When he was far away enough, Ryan turned his head back towards Matt. "Well?"

"Ryan, I am so sorry, I feel so terrible how I've been treating you. I shouldn't had said what I said and I hope you can forgive me, I'm a terrible person, and I didn't want to admit my feelings were real.."

"What feelings?" Ryan crossed his arms, staring at Matt, normally his beautiful brown eyes brought Matt comfort, but all he could feel was guilt.

"I'm in fucking love with you, Ryan."

Ryan's eyes widen as Matt bit his bottom lip, he's never swore before, no matter how angry he's been, but he had to show Ryan that he truly meant what he said, even if it meant disobeying God. 

There was silence between the two boys, Matt frowned and finally turned to walk away when Ryan pulled him by his uniform and slammed his lips into Matt's. Matt smiled into the kiss until the two pulled away to breathe.

"Do you really mean what you said, Matt?" Ryan murmured. Matt smiled and nodded his head, causing Ryan to smile as well.

"I love you, Matthew."

"I love you too, Ryan."

_Maybe he was gay_. 


End file.
